Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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