i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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