did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
