If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
