I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
