I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
