Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
