whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
