just tell him i said nine months
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize