dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
