He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize