KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
