So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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