Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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