I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
