Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize