I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
