FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
