i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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