I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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