Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
