Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
