I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize