Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
