around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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