taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
