why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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