But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
