i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
