Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
