Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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