First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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