somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize