Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
