And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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