3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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