it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize