do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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