I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
