Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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