he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
