Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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