THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i out mim tonsoeep
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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