Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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