God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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