He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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