Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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