You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
