with your own penis?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
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I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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