It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
