you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
