feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
