I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
