I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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