i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize