All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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