I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
