It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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