I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Couch. On fire.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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