Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize