I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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